I have so many times been coming back and forth to the Irrlicht site, I can't even remember anymore how many times I've decided to use Irrlicht, then change my mind to creating my own, the go back to using Irrlicht.
I guess it's the bane, of not being experienced, and that I always begin to design my own thing when I can't seem to understand something. Naturally as I don't always understand Irrlicht, I often just go back to working on the design and structure of an engine of my own.
Naturally, it is very unlike that I at this moment could accomplish such a task, so it would be good if I just once and for all settled for Irrlicht. However, as long as I have a mind, and as long as I don't understand every single bit of the engine I'm probably going to be haunted by ideas of an engine of my own.
Anyway, I've been ranting on many forums, about many different topics, but for once I'd like to try and be serious and coherent T_T.
So at this moment I have come to the conclusion that using Irrlicht is about the only chance I have of materialising any of my dreams and ideas. Modding would be another possibility, but that would have too many restrictions, so Irrlicht it is. And for the love of everything, if I could at least for once stay put and don't gad about anymore T_T I'm only making it worse for my self.
So Irrlicht for the rendering, that's decided, but I still cannot in any possible way get over the fact that I have to create my own universe engine, which would provide physics, chemsitry, and some other things which are to try and simulate our universe, and not just the physics. No part of this universe engine is supposed to be real-time high-realism emulation of anything. Someone even suggested calling it game code instead, but IMHO that would not be an accurate definition for it. So universe engine it is.
I could of course use one of the free physics engines for the rigid-body physics, or something along those lines. But I cannot escape from the fact that I do NEED to create this universe engine to be content. Pretty much anything I do is going against the tide, but I don't think I could let go of this, it's too vital to any game I've been thinking of.
I've many times tried to gather a team, and rightly so I've always literarily fucked it up. I can't control my passion for game development, my ambitions, or I simply just can stay coherent enough. I have noone to blame but myself. I started designing games back in 2001, so naturally it's been quite a few times I've fucked it up, consequently I've also been disappointed quite a few times.
So for a few years already (4 or 5 maybe) I've been very critical to others, timid, and unwilling to ask others for help, because I'm just going to gently caress it up anyway, or I just won't find anyone who would want to help me, anyone likeminded. So if I want something done right, and done at all, I need to do it myself. Basicalyl the story of my life, not only in game development.
This is not in itself bad, it's always much easier looking for help if you have something to show, but again, even if I manage to stay coherent enough and control my ambitions, there is always something else to get in my way.
What I am talking about in particular is editing and content creation, specifically scene and model editing. I've tried almost everything from Milkshape 3D to Maya Ultimate, but none of the applications work for me. Naturally, as I am no modeller, it is going to be difficult, but that's not really the point here. All the applciations are just too messy, complicated, and...em...I an't even find words for it. Basically crap.
There is no use in having great features and advanced capabilities if it's nearly impossible to use the software without smashing you head into the keyboard until your brain splatters all over the display.
So already a few times I've been thinking of a Universe editor, which could ofcourse be modified to supprot anything, but I'd mainly want to for my game only, at this moment I don't care about anything else, just that I'd get some decent tools for my game.
I have however felt that such an application would probably be even more difficult to create than a game, and thus even fewer would be interested in helping.
Using Irrlicht for the 2D and 3D rendering of meshes and CAD would probably work pretty well, I've look at irrEdit a bit, and it looks good. However, irrEdit does not work for me either. It's a bit too simple, and lack some of the fundamental features I've been pondering about.
Since this universe editor would store everything in its own format, which wouldn't be targeted at really any particular software/engine, etc., it should be pretty easy to just create exporters to export the simple formats -- which they truly are, my philosophy being if you can't edit it with a text editor or data editor it's no good -- and thus be used for any purpose.
The fact that it would be made specifically for my game/designs/visions probably makes people even more reluctant to help, even though they could just take the source code and do whatever modifications they want.
Anyway, again, I don't know how many times I've been here at this forum with my ideas, but feel free to leave any comments ^_^
Even if only a little positive feedback, I think I'd become quite happy, that I haven't at least gone completely insane ^~^