Funny programming pictures, jokes & quotes

Adler1337 · Post by **Adler1337** » Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:24 pm

The network admin/A+ computer repair/Network+ teacher at my school has that picture hanging up in his room.

zillion42 · Post by **zillion42** » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:58 am

And the Ballmer Peak

http://xkcd.com/323/

ent1ty · Post by **ent1ty** » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:55 pm

I just remembered something I saw like a year ago

Code: Select all

#define true	0
#define false	1
//Happy debugging, suckers!

cobra · Post by **cobra** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:14 pm

Brainsaw's picture is very funny.

Virion · Post by **Virion** » Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:31 pm

ent1ty wrote:I just remembered something I saw like a year ago
Code: Select all
#define true	0
#define false	1
//Happy debugging, suckers!

nice one haha

Dorth · Post by **Dorth** » Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:31 am

Dick Smith lived in Scunthorpe and supported the Arsenal football club. He had sextuplates at home with his girlfriend Dorothy Titt - they were conceived after they had been to Condom-en-Armagnac in France.

The beauties of Word Filters...

dreamwaves · Post by **dreamwaves** » Mon May 17, 2010 5:14 am

Something for this thread from me...!

Brainsaw · Post by **Brainsaw** » Mon May 17, 2010 6:56 am

I like the last picture

DtD · Post by **DtD** » Mon May 17, 2010 5:01 pm

Found this randomly today: http://thegamemonkey.wordpress.com/2010 ... rchetypes/

Acki · Post by **Acki** » Thu May 27, 2010 3:29 pm

Moore · Post by **Moore** » Mon May 31, 2010 3:51 pm

How to program in C++
----------------------------
1] Use a lot of global varibles
2] Give them mysterious names such as: X67, i_gcl or Horace
3] Write everything in one big file. h
4] Implement the entire program at once.
5] Use macros, in order to emulate Pascal.
6] Assume that the compiler will take care of all the detail that may not understand.

Economist, lawyer and C++ programmer debated whether to have a lover:
- (Economist), is not worth, you need to buy gifts and for his wife,
and the lover - goes too expensive.
- (Lawyer) is not worth it. From a legal point of view, it is illegal,
in the event of divorce wife takes it all ...
- (C++ programmer) is worth. The wife thinks I'm with the lover,
lover thinks I'm with my wife and I can program in peace ...

ent1ty · Post by **ent1ty** » Mon May 31, 2010 7:02 pm

Something I just made up. I'm not sure if it's that funny though.

I'm using. Are you?

So, with this in signature, some might think that I do drugs, but I'm actually just using namespace std

Escen · Post by **Escen** » Mon May 31, 2010 7:48 pm

Oh yes, that's funny...
But Hold on to your original plan, don't do any stand-up comedian.

Brainsaw · Post by **Brainsaw** » Tue Jun 01, 2010 5:48 am

Hmm ... I don't have that eMail any more, so I'll see if I can reproduce a part of the anti coding guidelines from my mind:

1. make huge methods for perfomance reasons, with lots of if-else statements and a lot of exit points

2. always re-use variables in your huge methods for memory reduction reasons - int GuiElementCount is just used to count GUI elements in the very beginning, but it is not necessary to use a new variable if you want to get a time stamp

3. use void pointers often - very powerful (especially for re-use - see #2)

4. make sure your methods and functions do more than one thing because of performance

5. use comments - but make sure you only comment one of the things your function does (see #4)

6. make you method and function names long and use characters that look similar, e.g. "l" (little "L") and "I" (big "i")

7. use rule #6 for #defines as well

8. using the "?" operator can decrease your codesize - use it instead of "if" statements wherever possible

I am sure there were a lot of other rules that I just can't remember right now. This is especially good if you want to do coding all by yourself

shadowslair · Post by **shadowslair** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 6:49 pm

Hehe! Here`s a badge I found sold here for 0.75€. Please remove it or I`ll remove it myself if you find it inappropriate. I think it`s original.

http://www.kapachki.com/index.php?main_ ... cts_id=995