here is a comparison
the instancing level runs at 25-50% of the original FPS
No instancing

Instancing

I am considering making a full in-depth tutorial on how to achieve this., but I doubt how many people would benefit from it. Let me know, cause I really dont have much time to write a tut.
I do not claim that I have built that grass node... I have just optimised it. My input is getting from the second screenshot to the first one. It was eigen who came up with the grass positioning and generation system.





